Accepting the Certainty of Impermanence

For me, the ongoing series of goodbyes and fare-thee-well's as we prepare for departure is manifesting a deep well of tears that continues to flow. There are so many people who want to say goodbye, and fitting them all in is not easy.

I will share quite openly here that today I said goodbye to my therapist of four years, a kind and compassionate woman who has seen me through death, grief, and major life transitions with a skilled mind and soft heart (not to mention a gentle way of challenging me when necessary!). Letting go of that emotional support is a big step, just one in a series of steps on the road to weighing anchor.

Driving around the Valley today, I visited several friends with whom the connection has been less consistent in recent years. While trying not to feel regretful over lost opportunities for deeper friendship, more tears were shed in coming to terms with the fact that we may never live in close proximity again, and one must simply accept things as they are, acknowledge the losses, and move on with a joyful and grateful heart.

Seventeen years is a long time to live in one place. There is a certain feeling that one can simply walk down the street and expect, more often than not, to see or run into someone familiar. In terms of friends with whom consistent contact has been lost, there is also a comfort in knowing that they're still nearby, that a serendipitous meeting may occasionally happen, and that one has time to get together "later". For us, "later" is now, and our imminent departure means that those friendships and acquaintances that we have taken for granted will soon be long-distance friendships in need of a different form of nurturing. And as for the familiar faces on the street, those will soon be a thing of the past as we become anonymous wayfarers on the road.

While some might see the tears as an unnecessary indulgence, I see them as a way to acknowledge the loss that leaving embodies, accept the certainty of impermanence, and bring us closer to our goal, as bittersweet as that goal may sometimes feel. And although returning to live in this lush and lovely river valley is not altogether out of the question, the chances of our returning for good are probably small. It's a big country out there, and my intuition tells me that some very special place is just waiting for us to plant our feet on its welcoming soil. Until then, we continue to say goodbye, and embrace impermanence as a simple fact of life.

---Keith

On the Bridge

How the heck are you?

For us, the complicated storms of downsizing and simplifying are, at long last, coming to a gentle close! Thank God! The house is sold, the rig is almost road ready, our day jobs are ending, our bodies are recovering, our minds are more at ease, and these glorious New England autumn afternoons are leading us closer by the moment to our imminent departure. Thank Goddess! The now fading phase of radically reducing our material possessions was pretty darn significant and taxing, to be sure--and not recommended for the faint of heart. But, how meaningful is all of that if we don't lighten our load from within as well? Now it is time to clear out from inside to make room for the burgeoning abundance that is just waiting to greet us.

As we walk on this bridge into a new lifestyle of less stuff and more freedom, we are easing into being more self-sufficient with our little home on wheels and will need to rely on our inner resources to generate what we need, welcoming plenty of serendipity and spiritual support for the road. Successful self-employment looms on the horizon as do many happy reunions, new friends, beautiful places and more time for the simple enjoyment of life. The time is perfect to lay down our burdens which, for me, pretty much just boil down to my old belief systems, wounds and attachments, is all. :0 All of that be damned, for I am walking this bridge under the rainbow that arches overhead, into the light of the new day and all the splendor, wonder and abundance that await us on the bright horizon! Hope to see you there!

Love,

Mary

Less Than Four Weeks and Counting!

It hardly seems possible, but in less than four weeks, we will be officially on the road! Just yesterday, Mary and I realized that we each have only seven actual work days left on our calendars, and by the time we say goodbye to our jobs, it will already be October 15th!

Yesterday, on Friday afternoon, we had four new tires put on the drive axle of the rig. Being 12,000 pounds, our vehicle has three axles and eight wheels and tires. Up front, we have two newish tires, and on the rear axle (which does nothing more than bear weight and add additional stability), all is well. So, in the interest of safety and road-worthiness, we now have four excellent all-season radials on our second axle, lending us even more stability, less chance of problems on the road, and a real sense of security underfoot.

Even more exciting, today we purchased a National Geographic Road Atlas of the United States, a great resource with excellent maps, profiles of national and state parks, and many features that any map-lover can appreciate.


So, when I begin to get excited by maps, I know that a trip is imminent. Looking at these maps of the US, I begin to imagine all of the places we'll see, the people that we'll meet and the experiences that we'll have, and I can begin to taste the freedom that is just around the corner.

---Keith

Adjusting, Arranging, and Planning

Well, time is marching on, and we are now approximately one month from departure. We've been living in Scottie LaBlanca for more than four weeks now, and I think we are pretty much adjusted to life in a small space. We're still trying to find the "perfect" arrangement for pots and pans, dishes, food and supplies, but we're getting closer and closer as the days go by.

So, there are several areas where some fine-tuning is needed, and our focus shifts towards those areas as we hone in on the home-stretch:

Storage: this is a commodity truly at a premium, and some hard decisions will need to be made as we get closer to departure. Some things will just need to be left behind, whereas others will just have to find a place to live.

Towing: whether or not to tow a car is truly something we are wrestling with. There are many opinions about whether or not to tow, and we are considering our options carefully. While it is true that towing a small car will indeed impact our gas mileage over all, having a small car to drive around locally when we're parked at a campground or community will decrease the amount that we drive our big rig on small local roads in attempts to go shopping, visit hard to reach sites, and explore back country roads that a 29-foot truck can't negotiate. So, having a fuel-efficient small car for such local driving would most likely offset the loss of mileage on the long hauls. To tow or not to tow, that is the question. And when that question is answered, which car comes along? And, needless to say, we'll need the equipment to do it (compliments of the local welding company.) And one more thing: the tow car will significantly improve our storage capacity!

Grease conversion: now that we feel more serious about converting to veggie oil, we are faced with the fact that the actual mechanical work to do the conversion may take 7-10 days to execute. Since we're living in the rig full time and have nowhere else to stay, giving up the rig for a week seems almost impossible, especially since we want to leave so soon. So, we may forego the grease conversion for now, keep raising money towards the work, and have it done down south or out west when we have more time to spare and can perhaps find a less expensive conversion mechanic to do the greasy deed. Converting to waste vegetable oil is important to us, and we just may have to wait a little while to do it. Meanwhile, we'll look for biodiesel wherever we fare.

Mechanical issues: making the rig road-worthy has been a process, and we're almost there. Like any used vehicle, it's needed some work. The brakes are now up to snuff. A few tires, the internal water pump, and a tailpipe will soon be replaced, and then we'll pretty much be ready to roll once our mobile RV mechanic makes one more visit to button up a few small details.

There's more to tell, but that's the report for now. Our jobs are absolutely ending on the 15th of October, so the end is in sight. Meanwhile, every weekend from now til our departure is booked for visiting friends prior to our journey.

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

---Keith